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February 23, 2007

Women’s Ministry that Works

by by Tracey Bianchi

Several years ago, my close friend "Sally" began her journey toward knowing Jesus - on that same well-worn path where so many of us have met God. When she became a Christian, I was thrilled that my brave, sassy friend understood what it meant to be loved by God.

But as Sally began to know Jesus and get more deeply involved at church, I noticed something happening. To make time for all the appropriate Bible studies, small groups, and other ministries she dutifully joined, she had to drop that step class at the gym that she really loved. People from the church kept calling and asking, so she kept joining and volunteering. To make time for these commitments, she quit her extra job - the one she did for "fun money," the one at the trendy bar and grill where so many people knew and loved her.

One day I called her to see if we could meet for coffee and catch up. Nope. Sally was too busy, and it would be another week before her church schedule opened up for me. I was hurt. I felt robbed, as if the church came and snatched Sally right out of my living room and locked her in the fellowship hall.

Now I know better; I have served in ministry leadership for many years. I get that churches have vibrant fellowship and communities that draw people closer to Jesus. But here is my struggle: When we minister to women, when we reach out to them and share with them the life-changing love of Jesus, what do we do once they decide they want "in"?

Most churches offer programs that invite women to leave their neighborhoods and coffee shops on any given night so they can come to church for a program (or two). So they drop book clubs or after-work social events so that they can make it to a group at church. Of course, this isn't a bad thing, but aren't we robbing other women of the chance to live and walk alongside these followers of Jesus when we constantly pull them to church?

I have limited access to Sally these days; she is up to her eyeballs in elders' meetings and retreats and building committees. I understand this stuff, so I am patient. But are those women not yet on the faith journey as forgiving? Or do they also miss their friend and in frustration raise their fists at the church, hurt because Sally never calls now that she met Jesus?

Effective outreach to women takes place in a context that invites women into both a deeper journey with Jesus and a deeper journey into the relationships they already have. Of course, some places and partnerships are simply incompatible with following Jesus, but choosing to cut negative influences from our lives for the sake of growth is not the issue here. The issue is that many times church life brings with it a slow, seemingly insignificant drift out of the world a woman once knew. At issue here is the often unconscious decision to go one step beyond "in the world but not of it" to "completely out of this world."

Effective outreach to women will help them recognize the natural rhythms and relationships that already exist in their lives and will provide creative and life-giving ways to walk with Jesus in these settings, rather than completely uprooting them and plopping them into a pew. To be clich?, effective ministry teaches women how to "bloom where they are planted." It reminds them that the transforming power of Jesus Christ is the key to "new life," but only when someone impacts our old life can we meet with the new.

Posted by Amy Simpson on February 23, 2007 12:23 PM

Comments

For a new Christian, the sudden finding of a new kind of significance may be what compels them to indulge in church functions. Genuine Christian love may be uncomparable to anything previously experienced.

I think there is a time of nurture needed for new believers perhaps best obtained in the church's greenhouse environment. But yes, as you've said, there should be a hardening off process eventually, where they are encouraged to be in the world again to be an influence.

We spend time in Christian relationships because it becomes our comfort zone. I experienced this recently in the Pilates class I joined. Today they were talking about astrological signs. Other times it is about worldly concerns - my pedicure, my bulges (even though they're thin), "did you watch Gray's Anatomy last night?", movie night, and so forth...I was also told I could attend the Sunday 11:00 class if I wished. I know that most of this is just "girl talk", but I haven't been part of that for awhile now as most of our circles we mind our p's and q's. I admit, this is a circle of women intimidate me. On one hand I'm thinking it's good for me to see how the other half lives. On the other hand I'm wondering if this is the right group for me?

Posted By: Rosalie G | February 23, 2007 8:57 PM

It is a fine line with Women's Ministry "programming", isn't it? We need to be different, but not so set apart that our nonbelieving friends won't want to join us. As a church, we need to take the time to enable, encourage and exhort our members, while at the same time not getting them too bogged down that they "disappear" from their influencial lives outside of the church.

It is all about balance. As church leaders we need to really get to know our "flocks" and also not be afraid to tell them not to be so involved, even if it is at the expense of ministry progress. We need to be constantly and actively searching to get new people involved so that the same people don't do all of the work all of the time and so everyone can maintain some active ties to a group outside of the church.

Great thoughts.

Posted By: Janna Rust | February 24, 2007 10:17 AM

Hey girlfriend, I'm so glad your voice is out here on the web. Thank you for highlighting how the church can become just like the culture -- so busy doing that they don't have time to be -- with anyone.

Posted By: adele calhoun | February 27, 2007 12:13 PM

I agree with Rosalie in some ways, thank you so much for that reminder that Christian community can be a welcome and life giving space for those new to the faith as a freeing place to grow and learn. Thanks for that reminder. Ahhh, but again, we've got to be balanced right? The other reminder you leave is so important too, that we cannot become so into our faith circles that we lose touch with "how the other half lives." I think the "us and them" feeling that Christians often leave others with can be painful on both sides. We lose touch with one another and miss the chances to connect with one another. The key is to balance it all. So easy to type, so hard to do right?

Posted By: Tracey | February 27, 2007 5:53 PM

Jesus walked with sinners and still ministered daily by His walk. We can be in the world and should and not be of the world. My unbelieving friends may never see Jesus unless they see Him in me. And if I was never in the world amoung them they would not experiance the love of Christ coming from me. So being involved in church is not a bad thing as long as there is a time to be among the crowds to let your light shine. Theres a old girlscout saying make new friends but keep the old, one is silver but the othere gold.

Posted By: Pam larimer | February 28, 2007 9:42 PM

I also agree that it's a delicate balance as others have said to be in-touch with everyday women, and maintain a godly perspective...I think that another delicate balance to consider is between refreshing others (redeem the time) and being refreshed yourself (don't get burned out). I don't think you have to be in a pew to fellowship or even serve. Perhaps inviting church friends, neighbors, non-christian friends that are on your heart to your favorite coffee shop or to a farmer's market or to your house for scrapbooking...All promote fellowship and let your light shine...(Don't forget to pray for those "divine appointments" when you're out and about that will minister to the non-Christians as well as Christians.) Ministry can be practical and fun!

Posted By: Tiffany | February 28, 2007 11:04 PM

Thanks Tracey, of course balance is important, as is God's calling. As Tiffany has so aptly commented on "Divine Appointments", that is all part of the mix. God calls me even to visit the grocery store at a certain time just to cross paths with someone, and of course there I would be in the world. As for my Pilates class, God probably arranged for me to be there too. The question remains, do I want to accept the mission?

Back to your original thought. Your point, I believe, was are we all guilty of getting so tied up in churchianity that we aren't out there where Jesus needs us anymore.

Yes, this is probably pandemic.

Posted By: Rosalie G | March 1, 2007 12:41 AM

um, I believe we should have balance, but I can remember being so excited about Jesus and wanted to belong,and stayed gone doing something with the church all the time. However after a while I became burned out, too much church, yes and you can lost friends and family, since that time I've learned that church is just a building, I'm a evangelist, I still am a part of the church, but I don't run to the church everytime the doors or open, I spend more time at home and I still fellowship with my chiristian friends as well, feels good to be at home sometime.

Posted By: Rita | March 3, 2007 4:43 PM

This is a problem not confined to women in the church. It goes for families, for men, for children. Much of our church life seems to become absorbed in providing a comfortable place for Christians to be educated or socialize. I don't believe that God called us to a safety zone. We should be out battling wild beasts like Paul :) Too many Christians stay babes forever because they're never tested against the world.
Balance is the key, of course, but I believe that most of our churches are weighted so far to the side of safety that it will take a long time and a lot of prophetic work to swing in the other direction.

Posted By: Melodee | March 11, 2007 8:16 AM

One thing that we need to understand when we begin this walk with the LORD....
Our lives should and will change radically. As a matter of truth, our relationships with others changes when our relationship with the LORD becomes first. I could quote many a Scripture to justify why this is so. Did you ask her why she made the decision to no longer serve liquor at the bar and grill? If the LORD GOD is our EL SHADDAI, why worry about where the fun money is coming from?

Posted By: Helen Thomas | April 27, 2007 2:45 PM

Hi, I love what you are sharing, IT IS such a great with all I SHARE the messages with. God richly bless you and keep the good work.

Posted By: paul simons | August 22, 2008 10:17 AM

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