Free Newsletters

on LeadershipJournal.net

« The Audacity of Dreams | Main | Solitude for the Busy Mom »

June 19, 2007

Tailor-Making Spiritual Formation

by by Angie Ward

coffee_woman.jpgIf I were to think of myself as the model godly woman, I'd picture myself sitting at the table in my breakfast nook, steam rising from the fresh cup of coffee in my hand, reading my study Bible and Beth Moore book by the rays of the early morning sunlight that stream through my windows, the faint sound of birds chirping in my flower-filled yard.

As I've struggled for years to reach this spiritual "ideal," I've finally realized there are a number of problems with it: 1. I don't like coffee; 2. I am not a morning person; 3. I have two young boys who fill the house with noise the minute they awaken; 4. I don't do flowers, just ask my husband; 5. I don't have any of Beth Moore's books.

There is no one-size-fits-all approach to spiritual formation.

Each woman has a completely different story, personality, and lifestyle. Therefore, as leaders it is important for us to help women develop their own plan for spiritual growth, instead of just pointing everyone toward the same program or method as the guarantee of success.

When I visit a personal trainer at the gym, she doesn't give me a pre-designed, standard exercise plan; she observes my strengths, weaknesses, and lifestyle, and develops a customized workout plan based on that information. The ultimate goal is total body fitness; however, there are hundreds of baby steps that contribute to meeting that goal. She would never expect me to start by running five miles or setting the weight machine at the heaviest setting. Instead, she encourages manageable activities that show fairly quick results, creating a natural hunger for more.

In the same way, as Christian leaders we should seek to join women wherever they are on their spiritual journey, helping them take the next step instead of focusing on how far they have to go until the reach the "ideal." Following are some manageable yet effective ideas for the most basic elements of spiritual formation.

Community: This is more than the typical church grapevine or casual associations. Women need deep friendships that include personal accountability, but this can take so many forms. Some women do best in a structured small group or Bible study; others, like me, feel safer initially yet ultimately very challenged in a less structured setting. At a previous church, I started golfing regularly with a group of women. It didn't take long before we were sharing the depths of our hearts at the same time we were improving our handicaps. Community can never be forced. Whether it's a shared meal or a shared interest, look to capitalize on natural connections.

Bible reading: There is absolutely no substitute for personal time spent reading the Bible, even if it's just several verses a day. Women need to know that God speaks to them personally, not just through their spouse, pastor, Bible study leader, radio preacher, or favorite author. I am sometimes discouraged by how many women depend on study Bibles and Bible study guides to interpret Scripture for them, instead of relying on the Holy Spirit to illumine their reading of God's Word. Instead of providing more study tools, challenge them to use less.

Prayer: Many women struggle to carve large chunks of time out of a schedule that is often dictated by others' needs: work, household, children, spouse, friends, etc. Yet all Christ-followers need to quiet their soul on a regular basis, so they can hear God speak and can talk to him, as well. Therefore, encourage the women you know to take advantage of even the smallest quiet moments. That may be in the stillness of the morning or evening, in the car at a red light, or even (perhaps often!) in the bathroom.

As with diet and exercise, in your spiritual life you can't rely on the big event or program to take the place of regular discipline. As leaders, we can help women recognize and maximize their own unique situation to foster lasting life change.

Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on June 19, 2007 10:38 AM

Comments

Good advice, as sometimes we can follow a long list which doesn't work for us. I believe the ultimate is to do something at all cost, and i guess these flexible guides will help everyone.

Posted By: Akushika Addo | June 19, 2007 8:13 PM

Amen sister. I too am a busy single mom of 3 boys,and missionary in Ukraine but I found when we ask the Lord to show us when we can meet together, He always comes through and provides the time we need(it may be in the wee hours of the morning). As you said, it is developing a habit of being in His presence always so there is a running dialogue with Him always about everything. We don't necessarily need to have a lot of concentrated time agonizing over a situation or problem...simply.."here we are again Lord..tackling this situation..TOGETHER." AMEN!

Posted By: Pam | June 19, 2007 8:25 PM

The disciplined mentioned are important at all stages of life. Yes, even finding/building community needs to be intentional.

In life we have seasons. As a mom of preschoolers I didn't have the luxury of what you have described either, but eventually I did. I've had the coffee, sunny nook, even the birds and flowers and even done a Beth Moore. I only considered it the ideal for "me". I also was often jealous of women who had fulfilling jobs to run to and didn't have the time I did to spend these ways. I'm sure those women find ways to become godly women too.

A lot of my spiritual learning time is in the morning in front of my computer where much of my Bible and devotional reading is online. Praying is sometimes in the closet, but often through a gazilion prayers through the day, under my breath, in the car, while vacuuming, and so on.

I sometimes feel guilty I've departed from the kitchen nook, yet I still feel I'm growing and spending time with God. There is a time and season for it all.

Posted By: Rosalie G. | June 20, 2007 9:21 PM

I work part-time in a Christian bookstore, and it occurs to me that at book packaging helps support the continuing myth that there's a single, specific, breakfast nook-birdsong-steaming-mug-of-coffee way to "grow" comes from the way the publishing world packages growth resources. Women's books, particularly those targeted at an older demographic, often sport cover art with teacups and daisies.

Many of us who've come out of the one-size-fits-all style of discipleship find ourselves having to work through the guilt of not being able to memorize 3 verses a week, pray through a prayer list tucked inside our calico-covered Bible, read said Bible for 15 minutes a day, yada yada yada.

How wonderfully freeing to stop living my spiritual life by checklist (which really isn't living a spiritual life at all, but is a series of helpful tasks) and instead learn to seek God and His kingdom. Disciplines become a set of supportive gardening tools, used differently in different seasons of our lives with the goal of helping us become fruitful. It will look different when you have 3 babies in diapers than it will when you're a grandparent.

Thanks for sharing this, Angie.

Posted By: Michelle Van Loon | June 21, 2007 8:02 AM

Great article Angie. No there is really no one-size fits all godly woman. Sometimes the Proverbs 31 woman is held up as the model, but just reading all that she does is exhausting--until you read the verse that mentions about her servants. Couldn't we all accomplish a multitude of things too if we had the luxury of servants. I was reading on the background of such a woman and found out that these were affluent women who hired wet nurses and nannies to care for their children. No wonder she is able to be the busy businesswoman who's not home very much. Yet her children still "Rise up and call her blessed."

Like you I don't like coffee, am not a morning person and don't own a Beth Moore book, but I don't feel the least bit concerned that I'm any less godly than a woman who fits that profile. God sent me to seminary, saw to it that I was ordained and has used me in a variety of ministries-nursing home pastor, hospital chaplain, pastor of 2 churches and now as a hospice chaplain & pulpit supply preacher. I will continue to serve him and let my light shine for Him before others in the ways He directs me.

Michelle, loved your post--you really said it well. Like you, I find the stereotypical way that women's books are packaged a real turn off--it tends to make me pass them up.

Posted By: Rev. Carlene | June 21, 2007 4:00 PM

At my women's Bible study years ago I was secretly jealous of a woman who rose every morning at 5:30 to go to a private space in her room for study and prayer. Like you I thought that was indeed "it". But God listens to me when I drive to baseball practice and speaks to me while I fold laundry. My sanctuary changes daily and I like the view.

Posted By: Kathy/Lessons from the Laundry | June 21, 2007 4:13 PM

I have to agree with all I've read..God provides different ways at different times in our lives to meet with us. I can echo the I don't like coffee (I'm a tea drinker), I am not a morning person, I have a few flowers, the only Beth Moore study I've led was for children and I don't think I actually own a Beth Moore book.
I just completed my Master of Divinity and am seeking God's place to serve.

It was an affirmation that God does indeed use women in ministry as God provided through Rev. Carlene. I'm Southern Baptist so many doors are closed to me because I'm a woman. But, I know God can and will open any door so that I can complete his plan for my life.

I do look forward though to having some time to really "read" for spiritual development instead of just reading to complete Seminary assignments. It's a wonderful experience and bringing renewal.
In his service,
Elaine

Posted By: Elaine | June 21, 2007 6:04 PM

One of the greatest challenges I face as a Christian life coach is resisting the urge to convey Christianity as formulaic. By it's very nature, coaching can be a series of checklists on the "to do's" and the "to be's" of following Christ. I am concerned that our religion has replaced our relationship. Quite frankly, there are times that I wish to remove the verbage and lingo with the hope that in doing so we can remove this persistent urge to live a life of "performance". Donald Miller articulated my thoughts and feelings so well in his book In Search Of God Knows What.

Posted By: Pink Collar Club | June 22, 2007 11:10 AM

Thank you for your wise words, Angie! I love coffee, mainly as a help to make it through the morning. My husband keeps the flowers blooming and I love a moment to sit on my deck, drink my coffee and praise God for His abundance of blessings. Unfortunately, between being women's pastor, pulpit supply, classwork to finish my track to ordination and taking care of my grandchildren, sometimes those moments seem way too short. Like everyone before me, the Holy Spirit has been faithful to bring me to the right moments for the Father and I to meet in quality prayer time together. Some days it is a brief moment and others it is a long period of prayer and listening to His Word. Thank you again, Angie and all of you that shared openly about your path to prayer.

Posted By: Rhonda | June 22, 2007 12:32 PM

What great words Angie...I am a Pastor at a church down in Cooper City, FL and I have the honor to be able to do life with some really amazing people. My own struggle has been to find time to fill me up as I spend my day filling up others. It has to come natural, and I am not naturally a get up at the crack of dawn type of chick. I have my quiet time while I am in my morning get ready process and even though it is only 15 minutes it is 15 minutes in HIS word and it is good. My husband and I renovated our back patio and turned it into a "relaxation room" and when the kids are winding down at night we retreat out there, turn on the fountains, some jazz music, and unwind with our journals, Bible, and other Leadership books that we think and grow from. The cool part is...is that it works for ME! God just wants to spend time with us to let us know how much HE loves us. (How awesome is that?) ;) Thanks for your good words!

Posted By: Melissa ;) | June 22, 2007 4:30 PM

Thanks for the encouragement. The Lord has just laid it on my heart to start a ministry. With that and my normal routine, some days are victorius and some days not so good.
I've learnt to value my conversations with God in rare quiet moments - the car, the shower, when dropping off to sleep.
Beacause of this I'm ever so reliant on the Holy Spirit's guidance.
The good thing is that there's no bad or inapproprate moment, He always answers.

Posted By: Mimi Odiachi | June 23, 2007 10:16 AM

Thanks for letting me know even the least matters to God. Of course, there is absolutely no substitute for personal time spent reading the Bible, even if it’s just several verses a day. Thanks a million!

Nicole
Cameroon

Posted By: Nicole | June 29, 2007 10:26 AM

Wow Angie... you truly hit the nail on the head! Can you tell by the number of comments posted on your article?

God has truly been dealing with me about spiritual disciplines. I admit that and I am embracing it for sure. However I am 51, an ordained minister, women's pastor of a large church, didn't marry till I was 37, my children were born later so I currently have a 9 & 10 year old who my sister says are the most opinionated kids she has ever known! ha ha! Lucky me! Oh well, they are spirited children but I am believing God that they will have powerful ministries one day. However at 51 I am doing my best to keep up with all these responsibilities. Needless to say, I am tired a lot! Some days I get very little devotional time. But I have developed my own system taking advantage of God moments throughout the day. On my day off when my children are in school, I fast for the morning and spend extended time in prayer, journaling and Bible reading. And I keep my favorite Bible verses and promises on index cards and refer to them, embracing them with all my heart at every slight opportunity during the day. That is my system! Your article is refreshing for two reasons:

First, it speaks freedom to me to not have to be the perfect, flawless leader while pursuing my spiritual goals and disciplines.

And secondly, it informs me as I plan spiritual formation and leadership development programs for my team leaders.

Posted By: Rev. Ava Oleson | July 17, 2007 8:03 PM

In the days we are living in I think that what is most needed by busy women that need to prioritize their time and energy, is a true sense of direction as to what avenues one feels the Lord would have them explore deeper. There are seasons of tranquality as well as more vibrant " doing" seasons in all our lives. Propelling ourselves forward without meaningful purpose defined for our season can find us going in a million directions yet not yielding the depth or results needed for our time. Jesus had intent and specific purpose which Included time away to rejuvenate. I am finding more than ever that it is our responsibility to pray and discern the times in our lives and make wise steps of preparation. It does not always meet doing but sometimes basking in His presence to gain peace and added kingdom perspective. Our emphatic obligation is to seek His purposes for our lives and then ask the Master Potter how we can navigate our lives to fulfill all He requires of us. We are a strategic army in the body of Christ and as we go forward in the battles of life may we prepare ourselves adequately in the background of discipline, patience, and steadfastness.
Valerie Caraotta

Posted By: Valerie Caraotta | May 27, 2011 5:42 PM

Angie,

I love what you've written... I love coffee, am a morning person but don't have a Beth Moore book... and I do hear from God as He gives me revelation on His word.... like you, I want to meet leaders where they are at on their journey and walk with them from there.

I love how you write...

Bev

Posted By: Bev | May 28, 2011 5:11 PM

Post a comment:





Verification (needed to reduce spam):

Tags

see more

resources