Gifted for Leadership

Comments

Thanks for your perspective, Amy! I have recently found myself in a new world of using and not using the gift of leadership given to me by the Lord.

I am very blessed in the ministry I get to serve with, experiencing leadership opportunities abounding. BUT, recently, I was called in to a "chat" with my pastors and an elder. In that "chat" I learned as they talked about a lot of my "needs", that I was NOT a leader in that environment and though they valued my opportunities to lead in my para-church ministry, it was not the same at church! Whoa, alrighty then!

So, the best I can do is live out of my many cross cultural experiences where I may not be able to be a "totally" American woman when I travel, especially in the Middle East and Central Asia!

Thanks again for your encouraging words!
Judy K

Posted By: Judy K | April 25, 2008 9:24 AM

I am blessed in womens ministries, but i understand not wanting to answer the call and believing that they do not hear Gods call..for me it was the fear of failing God, as if that were possible :) HE has taught me and is still teaching me that HE does not fail me, and HE will always see me through whatever HE calls me to. Just found this blog through "out of Ur"..awesome reads here!

Posted By: darla | April 25, 2008 6:21 PM

It would be very interesting to start a survey on how many Christian women have left their Faith, their ministry, and buried their giftedness after being emotionally and spiritually assassinated by other women in leadership/ministry. Relational Aggression seems to run unchecked in churches and religious organizations with devastating results.

I'm not so sure that I agree with the author on the reasons for abuse of leadership but I concur with her assessment of it's destructive power; and 'Power' seems to be the operative word here. Time and time again I have seen 'leaders' with a mesmerizing, almost frightening hold over others, and no one seems to see the evil in it for what it is.

I remain deeply troubled about the state of denial in churches and women's groups across the continent, and dismayed by the complete lack of interest in addressing Relational Aggression on an administrative level. As a survivor who has suffered at the hands of some of the worst offenders, I am also often privy to the stories of those whose lives and relationships have been destroyed by these female impostors. It's heartbreaking to see how little care these women receive from their churches and 'friends' in the ministry.

Posted By: marilyn | April 25, 2008 11:08 PM

I find that these type of women need a very strong mentor who will show and teach them out of their negative criticism. It is worse than changing a habit. Otherwise the destruction continues and eventually they may go to another ministry or job and nothing changes for them. Then we did them a disservice. Pastor's should find a "best friend" for them as when the Pastor takes on delivering the feedback/bad news, it is too late to change that person; that person then will then be more defensive or spread more false rumors about the situation. The Pastor cannot possibly turn that one "talk" into a positive outcome without a lot of pre-conversations and lots of time.
Not sure if this makes sense... too much to write. I have seen and been through a few of these situations. Old fashion "peer pressure" works best through loving, Christian women who understand what the outcome should be. Tough to do!

Love your writings.
Alyson LID 01/27/06

Posted By: Alyson | April 26, 2008 6:18 AM

Alyson, you are right about the mentoring solution. If more churches and more Christian women followed the Titus 2 formula, there would be far less spiritual abuse in general; unfortunately, most of those women who thrive on sowing discord are not going to seek one out. If churches and ministries made it impossible to enter a leadership position without a mentor, there might be some hope.

Posted By: marilyn | April 26, 2008 8:32 PM

I have a couple thoughts somewhat connected. 1. Many women are frustrated as most churches only give women lip service as leaders-if they even do that. Bottom line-most pastors and elders and church leaders are men (despite all the articles recently on the lack of "men" in churches). Can't turn on the recognized leadership so the destructive behavior often turned on each other.
2. Women are not mentored nor taught nor encouraged to understand their leadership gift-hence a great lack of misunderstanding of what it means to be a leader.
3. Women need to learn how to have and own their own voice.

Posted By: trisha | April 28, 2008 5:10 PM

Jesus teaches us how to lead by listening, by following, and by obeying. In attempting with our broken humanity to glorify His name, we are blessed when we listen, when we follow, and when we obey, regardless of the issue. As this gave God the opportunity to work His will with Jesus, don't we then give Him the opportunity to work within us as well?

Posted By: Marguerite Poteet | April 29, 2008 10:07 AM

Marilyn, you go, girl! Having been on the receiving end of Relational Aggression, I feel your pain. Not long ago, I came within a heartbeat of walking away from an assignment that is without question God-given. As it is, I am still somewhat shaken by the influence and deception this person asserted over leadership while I was on a 3-month medical leave, and continued to do so even after I returned to my assignment. Although God has taught me volumes in the forgiving and forgetting department, I no longer feel "safe" in my church environment. Yes, it would be very easy to walk away; however I do not feel God has released me from this assignment yet. So, I continue to pray that the peace of Christ will rule between us and wait on God to deal with this situation.

Posted By: sheila | April 30, 2008 12:14 AM

Thanks Sheila. Your courage and commitment are admirable---I can't say I have the same confidence. I stayed in my church environment just long enough to let them know they hadn't killed me, but in truth, I sometimes wonder if they did. I am no longer involved in organized ministry and find it difficult to go to church even though I've moved to a different town; after all, women are the same everywhere.

Trisha, I don't think this is an issue we can blame on the men. We are ultimately responsible to God and to each other for our own behavior and to pass the buck--yet again--is not only irresponsible, it's counterproductive. Until we take an honest look at relational aggression as women in the church, I don't think our leadership potential will be fully realized.

Posted By: marilyn | May 9, 2008 11:18 PM

I am very dissapointed in the women who say they are in the family of Christ yet take opportunity to bash their Christian brothers when things don't go their way. I detect a note of angry feminism which is in direct opposition to the Word of God. Under the guise of "encouraging woman leadership" these women display the abuse of the spiritual leadership gift and actually cause division instead of unity. If more women would reference and obey the Word of God instead of their own selfish ambitions and seek His guidance and peace, we would have less abuse of spiritual gifts and more unity in the Body of Christ.

Posted By: Kris | May 17, 2008 8:27 AM

In a great house there are vessels of honor and dishonor (II Timothy 2:20) and with that comes the fighting within - It’s no mystery - it discourages many from embracing leadership. Just like in any political election, there are many highly qualified and talented individuals who would do a great job, but they won’t dare try for having to go through that grilling process. In the house of God, the response is much the same. Reasons vary but it’s primarily fear - fears of all sorts and everything else as described above by others. That’s just the way it is. It’s not gender specific but it is universal.

With His help, I’ve learned to accept it. I agree, it’s not always easy but I’ve got to stay focused and do as Paul wrote in II Timothy 1, that is, to keep the gift of God stirred up within me, study and strive to fulfill my commitments, otherwise, discouragement - discontentment - and lost blessings await me too.

Posted By: Sharon Johnson | May 21, 2008 4:18 AM

It has been very encouraging to hear these posts from so many women who are in love with GOD!

Posted By: Janice | May 21, 2008 4:51 PM

Wow! This article and comments really pushed the right button for me today! I'm struggling with frustrated leadership gifts. I did one of those spiritual gifts inventories and found a strong leadership component. My problem is in working with a younger male pastor. I think I've discerned he has a controlling spirit coupled with an aversion for intelligent women, and I think he doesn't really like his mother and when he sees me, he sees her! I've had more than one assignment that I've relinquished because he wants to micromanage me and every aspect of the "ministry." I'd love to walk away and never look back, but I've been at this church for 25 years. Help!

Posted By: Una | August 10, 2008 7:28 AM

I appreciate this article and I can see that there are these different types of women. However, by far and away the most common reason for women leaders to become critical and influence others wrongly comes out of hurt and disillusionment that in many, maybe most cases, women are denied the usage of their giftings by men who have no prior understanding about how to release women in ministry and therefore find them threatening.

Even recently, my husband and I spoke to a young guy in ministry who talked of an older woman whom he has deliberately shut down in several areas, not because she's done anything wrong but he's afraid she might!

There's a saying: 'some leaders are born women', and that's the truth. The world has come to recognise and acknowledge that, but the Church typically is lagging behind, using hackneyed old propaganda about women being silent etc.

Where God anoints, Church leadership needs to acknowledge and release. If this was done, much of the mischief made by stifled women leaders would never happen. In many cases, some of the best leaders in the church are shut down before they even get going, merely because their plumbing is unacceptable to the church elders. C'mon guys... we need to break this down. God knows the world is in a mess, and if we deny half our work force the right to serve Him according to their call, we hinder the forward movement of the Church.

Posted By: Bev | November 5, 2010 10:50 AM

I find myself in the position of being denied my leadership calling because it is, I'm told, contrary to Scripture. How do I, Scriturally, refuted this? To this point I've responded with examples in Scripture of Deborah, Priscilla, & the women who taught Timothy.

Posted By: Barbara | November 5, 2010 3:02 PM

Post a comment:

Name:

Email Address:

URL:

Remember Me?

Comments: (you may use HTML tags for style)

Verification (needed to reduce spam):

Be Still, Ailing Minister, Part 1

Catalyst Dallas 2013: Highlights and Reflections

End the Struggle between Ministry and Money

Missional Budgeting