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March 7, 2009

Live from Synergy 2009--Day 2

by by Caryn Rivadeneira

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I wish it were possible to wrap up the thrill of a full day at Synergy in one blog post. But since that's impossible, I just wanted to share something from this morning's plenary session where GFL Editorial Advisor Dr. Lauren Winner gave a wonderfully entertaining and engaging talk on "The Perils and Promises of Being a Woman in Ministry."
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While she spoke about some of the perils of men and women working together, what interested me most was what she said about women working with other women. She said, "Women are taught to compete with one another from Day 1." Girls, she said, learn early on that there can only be one prettiest girl in the class.

She went on to give examples from her on life where this played out. As she spoke, my brain drifted over the ridiculous ways this competition and jealousy has played out - even in my grown up, professional life.

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And I'm still thinking about it. It's one of the best things about Synergy. Every workshop, every plenary stays with us for a long time.

But I'm curious to hear from the rest of you: Do you as a leader still feel there's only room for one prettiest (or smartest or youngest or most educated or whatever) girl - and feel jealous or competitive if it isn't you?

Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on March 7, 2009 8:39 PM

Comments

I am one of only two women in my department and the two of us talked about being in solidarity, but I have often felt a competitive vibe from her. She seems to have a need to "prove" herself, especially around me. This boggled my mind, but I think it must be about what you're referring to - innate competitiveness or low self esteem. It makes me really sad because I wanted us to be unified since we're the only women, but sensing that competitiveness from makes me not want to develop a friendship.

Posted By: Anonymous | March 8, 2009 9:28 AM

What a great opportunity to encourage her, to lift her up. Almost always, when I seek to lift up another, I get encouraged to. Twice the benefit!

Posted By: Judy D | March 8, 2009 8:26 PM

I think these first two comments really have so much to say. Notice that the first personally discloses under "Anonymous." The second gives a very nice, very Christian answer that feels a little like a slap. (Which is probably why Anonymous chose to post as anonymous in the first place.)

Perhaps this says a lot about how we women typically relate to one another. Hmmm...

Posted By: Eileen Button | March 10, 2009 1:23 PM

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