who we are

Amy Simpson
Amy Simpson

Free Newsletters

on LeadershipJournal.net

« The Caregiving Challenge | Main | Finding Strength in Rest »

July 7, 2010

When You Don't Feel Gifted

by by Makeeda Pennycooke

Who are you calling a leader?

John Maxwell says leadership is influence. Well, if that’s the case, I guess I’ve always been a leader. I’m the oldest child of two strong-willed, independent parents, so I may even have been born a leader! If I were in a group and no one was in charge, it was natural for me to step into the role. People often looked to me for answers and direction. However, I never recognized the patterns of leadership in my ordinary thoughts and actions until recently. As such, acknowledging that gift has been a struggle.

When my senior leaders asked me to transition into the role of executive pastor, I was reluctant. The title alone was intimidating, and I wasn’t sure I could actually lead at that level. Quite honestly, I felt completely inadequate to lead anyone, anywhere. You see, for a long time I didn’t believe I brought anything unique to our organization. Sure, I had some skill sets that added value. But I also believed there were others who possessed those same skills in greater abundance. If I were pulled out and one of them put in my place, the organization wouldn’t miss a beat.

In the last several months God has been quietly reframing the image I’ve had of myself.

He’s been helping me embrace the leader he designed me to be, and I’m discovering my own distinctive brand of leadership. I’m just now beginning to fully appreciate this gift, just learning to rise into the fullness of it. I’m seeing that the unique way God has packaged leadership in me brings value to our church. This particular body wouldn’t look or feel the way it does today without the influence of my unique leadership style. It’s a very humbling thought, but it keeps me grateful to the One who placed me here.

I am a leader and I have been gifted to lead. Do I always feel like it? Nope! But that’s a good thing, because it keeps me on my knees seeking his wisdom for how to do this in the best way possible.

What about you? Do you ever struggle with feeling like you are really a leader?

Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on July 7, 2010 3:02 PM

Comments

Please understand that I'm not speaking of you but your article made me think. When is influnece leadership or just a very strong opinion expressed by a strong, outgoing personality. There are some people that I can think of that beleive themselves to be leaders and they do have influence over others but though their voices are loud and strong, what they say is not always the best for the whole nor are they Biblical and solid.

Posted By: bhunt | July 9, 2010 9:54 AM

Thank you for this post. I have long struggled with seeing myself as a leader, and I can see I'm not alone in that feeling. God has been at work 'quietly reframing' my self image and helping me see the ways I am a leader. I am reluctant in this, but it is happening. Anyway, thanks... this really encouraged me today.

Posted By: Chris | July 9, 2010 11:55 AM

Thanks for writing this article. I have also always naturally just taken over when there was no one else to lead. I never saw myself gifted either, but recently I obeyed God and went through the whole ordination process and got ordained in the Church of the Nazarene. I love the ministry and am together with my Pastor husband. It is difficult though and as you say, humbling, to accept the task.

Posted By: Sharon Hurkens | July 9, 2010 1:58 PM

What a wonderful post. God often uses the unsuspecting! Your humility takes you to the throne and that, in and of itself makes you a great leader.

I have started a blog called, "Shepastor." It is designed to encourage, uplift, inspire and challenge women in ministry.
Please stop by and post a comment!

http://shepastor.blogspot.com

Bless you

Posted By: Chris | July 9, 2010 5:25 PM

I've had this article in a separate tab in my browser's toolbar for almost a week now, for I knew I needed to read it thoroughly, instead of just skimming it as always, and also, because I love reading the comments as well. This article comes to me at a very difficult personal time, when I've been held back from leading, ministering and teaching, due to family crises and personal faith crises. I've always wondered why God kept calling me to step out as a leader, when I felt so inadequate and insufficient in leading Christians older than me both in age and in the gospel. I can now see that all leaders aren't shaped the same, and that to be truly a leader after God's own heart one needs to understand He might be prompting us to be the kind of leader He designed us to be and not the kind we think we should be. Also, I can now understand that the advice I've been dispensing all along it's the very same one I should be applying to this area of my life: God can only use those who recognize His supremacy and Glory, for we must feel unimportant and small until we allow Him to fill us with Himself.

Posted By: zoraya | July 15, 2010 1:58 PM

Oh how I struggle with this call to pastoral ministry. Slowly God is revealing to me that I am a leader, reluctant as I am. What I pray for is the courage to embrace the call and the willingness to grow even in the difficult times. Thank you for your thoughts.

Posted By: Renae | July 19, 2010 8:30 PM

I THANK GOD DIFFICULT TIMES I HAVE BEEN IN GOD HAS SHOW ME THINGS THAT MAKE ME SEE THAT I AM A LEADR

Posted By: EBENEZER | July 22, 2010 4:21 PM

Praise God for your transparency. Sometimes we as leaders feel we need to stand strong before others and not have any weaknesses or doubts. I praise God for you being transparent enough to share this with us!! I am a womens leader and I am dealing with insecurity. Even though the women come and tell me I bless them with my lifestyle and the way I allow the Lord to speak through me to them- still I can't seem to see what they see. I am applying now what I teach- to allow the Lord to say who and what we are and to define us. For when we define ourselves and allow others to define us we will always run into a frustrating brick wall! Praise God for you woman of God! Continue to share your triumphs and victories as well as your struggles because we need to hear them!

Posted By: Christina S. | July 23, 2010 11:07 AM

Thank you to everyone for your kind & encouraging words. I'm so sorry for the delay in responding to the comments. I had actually forgotten that I wrote this post (too many things running around in my head). I'm honored to know that my story has encouraged so many.

@bhunt - I agree that sometimes a loud voice is just a loud voice but at the same time, I think that voice may need to learn to use their influence in a way that is positive and encouraging. Having someone walk alongside them in that journey may go a long way in helping them find the right outlet for their influence.

@Chris - I'm glad to know these words encouraged you. I wish you the best in your continued leadership journey

@zoraya - you are so right. We are all unique and learning to appreciate our uniqueness is a huge and necessary step to enjoying the journey that is our individual stories.

Posted By: Makeda | July 28, 2010 9:34 AM

@Sharon - kudos to you for stepping out and getting ordained. Serving alongside your husband is no doubt extremely rewarding (and challenging.

@Renae - One of my favorite quotes says "courage doesn't always roar, sometimes its the quiet voice at the end of the day saying I'll try again tomorrow." I'm sure you have more courage than you realize. As you step out in faith to embrace the gift God has given you, He will give you the strength to both roar when necessary and to just try again another day. Stay the course. You can do this!

@Ebenezer - great perspective on difficult times. I also believe the best of who we are is birthed in difficult times.

@Christina S - loved your thoughts. Keep allowing God to whisper His words of love and encouragement over you. We look so often to others but His words are the ones that matter most. He delights in us and longs to have us take refuge in the shadow of His strength to know who we are really meant to be. Keep tuning your ears to His voice and you will discover the confidence to lead as He is calling you to lead. Blessings to you!

Posted By: Makeda | July 28, 2010 9:43 AM

I am not by any stretch of the imagination a leader. I am a watcher. I watch, listen, and wait, and write. Our culture has assumed that if you are not a natural leader, you must by default be a follower- but some of us stand firm and observe.

Posted By: Stacey Lacik | August 11, 2010 11:17 PM

Post a comment:





Verification (needed to reduce spam):

Tags

see more

resources