who we are

Amy Simpson
Amy Simpson

Free Newsletters

on LeadershipJournal.net

« Playing the 'God Card' | Main | Dare to Lead from Healing »

September 29, 2010

'Wild-Hearted' Daughters

by by Caryn Rivadeneira

If you read the GFL e-newsletter, you may recall my mention of a certain giddiness when I saw an ad for a one-day conference about “Women and Christian History” being held right in my neighborhood. Well, this past weekend, I went.

Some highlights for me included seeing archaeological evidence of women priests, deacons and elders in the early church, and that Notre Dame in Paris had women priests as recently as the Middle Ages. And I enjoyed learning about ancient Jewish and Roman marriage and divorce practices and how those related to the apparently mis-read and misunderstood story of the Samaritan woman at the well.

But my favorite moment of the day, the one that lingered and has made me smile whenever I replay it, came when Dr. Mimi Haddad talked about the women of the early Evangelical movement. In the 19th and early 20th Century, Dr. Haddad told us, Bible colleges and “institutes” sent out women to preach the gospel in big numbers. Incidentally, many of these Bible colleges she mentioned no longer send women out to preach. At least, not intentionally.

But once upon a time, Dr. Haddad said, women who were “wild-hearted” about following God’s call on their lives and “captivated” by the gospel, were trained and sent out by these institutions that “were proud of their wild-hearted daughters.”

If you don’t catch the reference, of course Dr. Haddad was good-naturedly jabbing the wildly (pun intended) popular books, Wild at Heart and Captivating. These books contend that a woman wants “to be romanced, to play a role in her own adventures, and to display beauty,” while a man wants “to be a hero, to be a warrior, to live a life of adventure and risk.”

I need to tread lightly here, as I mean no disrespect to the authors of these books. Obviously what they wrote about must seem true in their own lives and in the people around them. I suspect that many of you will read those characterizations of women and say, “Yes, right. I sure do!”

However, many of us read the premises of the books and wonder what we’re supposed to do if we don’t exactly fit their ideas of what women (and men) want. Especially as it seems more and more church programs for women (and men) take these characterizations as a guiding truths.

When Dr. Haddad made her comment about “wild-hearted daughters,” I smiled and cheered a little, along with many women in the room, because it always feels good to realize you’re not alone. In this case, that we weren’t the only ones who believe that our longings for adventures—of our own or alongside spouses or friends—and for battles worth fighting are placed there by God. And that while beauty and romance may have some place somewhere in our lives, what we really long for is a life of following God’s callings, wild-heartedly.

So hearing the simple statement that places were proud of their wild-hearted daughters warmed my heart. Made me a little jealous even. Because it sure doesn’t feel like the broad Christian community or even our own churches are always proud of us wild-hearted women now.

Often, we are seen as pests, as wanting to be “like men,” of trying to cause trouble for trouble’s sake. Those of us who are wives and mothers and still feel wild calls from God are looked at with suspicion. As if God can’t give a woman a husband, children, and a crazy, counter-culture calling.

Rarely are we embraced—at least in broad circles—as worthy of cheering on and supporting as God’s called and willing warriors. Rarely do we ever sense that others are proud of us.

It’s much easier for our churches, for example, to cater to the women who only want “parts” in another’s adventure. Who care a lot about looking pretty. And who like a bit of romance.

Yet we miss out on so many women—who feel isolated and rejected. I think we miss out on the chance to join in on some of the great work God is doing with his wild-hearted daughters.

So I’m just wondering: First, how does your church “deal” with women who are a bit wild-hearted, seeking the adventure of a risky life following Jesus? Are they embraced? Are they supported? Encourage? But also, what can we, as church leaders, do to foster a broad community once again that champions God’s wild-hearted daughters?

After all, these are women who seek lives of risk and adventure and fighting battles for Jesus. All because they have indeed been captivated by his love and grace.

Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on September 29, 2010 11:03 AM

Comments

Caryn, this is a great post! I was just wondering if the messages from the conference will be posted online anywhere for those of us who couldn't get there physically? I would love to listen to them!

Posted By: Leanne | September 30, 2010 1:48 PM

I would like more information on the Woman at the Well story, specifically how we have misinterpreted it.

Posted By: Sue | October 1, 2010 10:21 AM

I LOVE THIS POST!!! Women can be adventurous, wild-at-heart warrriors! God does not require women to sit quietly on the sidelines while men go out and do his work. The Great Commission is for ALL believers.

Posted By: Robyn | October 1, 2010 11:09 AM

I LOVE your embrace of God's wild-hearted daughters...women He draws into the holy wild to follow Him, regardless of the cost. Blessings to you!

Posted By: Hillary | October 1, 2010 1:02 PM

I love this post too... never could bring my self to read the princess idea... In fact, it's been curious to me seeing/hearing so many of our sisters going down the 'Princess' route with it's accompanying products. Actually, a Queen is a model of mature female leadership, strength coupled with wisdom and grace. Princesses, by definition, are immature and never come to the fullness of their leadership capacity.

The network of churches I am involved with, thankfully give women room to be whatever they're called to be. Anointing is the criterion, rather than extra plumbing in the genitalia.

I also would love to hear from Dr. Hadad about the woman at the well.

Great post...!

Posted By: Bev | October 1, 2010 5:16 PM

I loved the conference too and I too felt like cheering about the "wild-hearted daughters."

Here's a quote from John Ortberg from the 2007 Willow Creek Leadership Summit that ties in well with your post and with Bev's comments about queens:

“And by the way … in a day where writers - even in our day sometimes Christian writers - say that a woman’s highest aspiration is to be a beauty rescued by a man, I find it ironic that one of the great heroes of the Bible [Queen Esther] is a woman who rejects the stereotype of the beauty queen, who subverts her dim bulb husband, who puts on a clinic of courage, initiative and emotional intelligence and rescues all the men in the story. And just by the way, if you are a woman and God gifted you to lead, for God’s sake, for the church’s sake, for the sake of this sorry dark world… LEAD!!"

Posted By: Caroline | October 1, 2010 7:12 PM

Great post about a great conference. I am thankful that someone is telling women it's a good thing - not a crime against nature - to embrace a heart that want to wildly pursue God.

I think church leaders can help by mentoring people according to their gifts and passions instead of through gender labeling or hierarchy. It's amazing how far a small word of encouragement will go. Most people, myself included, are fueled by affirmation from others of what we already suspected in ourselves.

Posted By: hollie | October 5, 2010 12:19 PM

The gist of the woman at the well bit was that we assume so much about the woman that may not be true. She may not have gone to the well mid-day because she was so ashamed, but perhaps because the goat kicked over her bucket or because she was getting water for a sick neighbor. She may normally have gotten water with the rest of the town on the other days.

Prof. Lynn Cohick (the Wheaton prof who gave this talk) also raised that the townspeople must not have looked TOO poorly upon her because of her repeated marriages, as they trusted her testimony about Jesus pretty readily....

The talks are going to be available online, I just found out. http://www.cbeinternational.org/?q=content/one-day-chicago-follow

Some good food for thought.

Posted By: Caryn Rivadeneira | October 5, 2010 9:18 PM

Thank you for writing this! I like my church because they teach from the Bible there, and I've had a difficult time finding churches that actually do that, but the one thing I cannot stand is their views on women. They think the only way women can serve God is through getting married and having children. My denomination will not send women to other countries as missionaries (they can only accompany their missionary husbands, but not actually do missionary work there), and when any of the men (never women) pray aloud in my church, they only pray for the men in the mission field, never for their wives.

Posted By: Stacey | October 6, 2010 12:27 AM

"Queen Esther is a woman who rejects the stereotype of the beauty queen, who subverts her dim bulb husband, who puts on a clinic of courage, initiative and emotional intelligence and rescues all the men in the story"

I guess (as a woman) I read the story of Esther and never got this view. I guess Ortberg has more insight into her character. It seems to me, Esther had to compete with a lot of other beauties - not to mention spend the night with the king - in order to win her spot as queen. I wasn't aware that subverting our dimbulb husband (would we let men get away with calling a woman a dimbulb wife?)was something to aspire to in life. Clinic of Courage may be a nice alliteration, but what does that mean? What I see in the text is a woman who stood at the window looking down at the Jews dressed in sackcloth and ashes and didn't understand repentance when she saw it. The true dimbulb in the whole story of Esther is Esther herself...willing to sell herself for safety and a place in the world, to take the place of another wife, to accept the advice of worldly counselors... until she listened to her uncle's warning, until she asked for prayer, until she experienced her own conversion and only then was she empowered by God to act bravely. There is a lot for women to learn from the story of Esther, but I do not believe it is about being Esther it is about the providence of God to use someone like Esther in spite of her sins and her failures. And until we "get" that it is about God and not about us, we will continue to fight and compete our way into places of leadership worrying over what is fair and never truly satisfied. Our wild hearts indeed lead us this way.

Posted By: J. Brown | October 6, 2010 7:59 AM

I also was puzzled by the reference to the "misread and misunderstood story of the Samaritan woman at the well" and find the response to Sue's inquiry about the reference lacking in support for the statement in the post. The response read (to me) as conjecture without substantial support for the statement. In a sense, just a different opinion.

The fact that Jesus, a man who also happened to be a Jew, spoke to a Samaritan woman in public gives irrefutable evidence that He valued her as a person. It was the middle of the day and, as I understand, unusual for anyone to be out in the heat of the day. They were keeping a divine appointment planned before the foundation of the earth. The result? That Samaritan woman received "living water" and proceeded to share it with the men of the city (John 4:28) by inviting them to come and see a Man she believed to be the Christ. Many believed because of her testimony and many more believed because of Jesus own word (John 4:39-42).

There is nothing so powerful as the testimony of a transformed life...even one whose life includes a "checkered past." The power of God was moving in this city, hearts were ready to hear and receive the truth, not because it was shared by a particular person, but because they were ready to receive it. These people were trusting God's word and believing that Jesus was who He claimed to be, not a local citizen.

This woman was God's instrument and as we read of this account today we should be challenged to witness to those around us no matter what their opinion of us might be, real or perceived. My responsibility is to be obedient to God's direction for my life, even if outside the accepted "box". I can trust Him to open doors and change minds to get me anywhere He wants me to be to do whatever He has planned for me.

We would do well to remember that it is God who puts us in positions and situations, not a board or pastor or other governing body. We must be attuned to His still small voice so that we can hear Him and not be distracted by the other "voices" seeking to gain our attention (John 10:27).

Thank you for this thought provoking post.

Posted By: Susan F. | October 6, 2010 8:00 AM

Well said, Susan. We are so easily distracted by non-essentials of the story (text) that we miss the main point. Those who worship Him must worship in spirit and in truth. We must be careful not to read something into the text to accommodate our own view, but allow what we read to adjust us to truth. Jesus revealed Himself to this woman as the Messiah, as God, and the fulfillment of prophecy. That was good news that she could not keep to herself. What gave this woman a sense of self worth and purpose was not who she was or had been, but her encounter with the living God Jesus!

Posted By: J Brown | October 6, 2010 8:37 AM

I am fortunate to belong to a denomination (Foursquare) that was actually founded by a woman (Aimee Semple McPherson). I really appreciated your post. My husband bought the book "Wild at Heart" and I borrowed it, read it, and loved it . . . not so that I could understand my husband better but because I myself related to it so well. You've touched upon a real lack in the modern church. Thank you for shining the light on it.

Posted By: Diane Morissette | October 6, 2010 10:35 PM

I never meant to imply (nor did the professor) that it wasn't shocking for Jesus to speak to the woman. Single men did not speak to single women, let alone Jewish men to Samaritan women. The beauty of the story (or one of them) is indeed the value Jesus saw in her as a person. That's the story that shows me how much Jesus loves and values women--in essence he made a preacher out of that woman.

All I was saying is that she's so often portrayed as a harlot, and this was the first time I'd heard anyone say that in the town's view, she might have not been that bad.

That's all. It takes nothing away from what Jesus did or said. I don't think it diminishes the story at all.

Posted By: Caryn Rivadeneira | October 7, 2010 2:57 PM

Post a comment:





Verification (needed to reduce spam):

Tags

see more

resources